I want to become the sky

I really don't normally post sad things on my blog, so I've been contemplating posting this all day long since I woke up at 10:30 (awoken by bad rapping none the less) until now, 7:03. I decided to post this only because in the end, it kind of turned out to be a good thing I guess. It opened my eyes to the fact that my deepest fear of being all alone wouldn't come true any time soon, and that no matter when I always have a friend to turn to. So here's the story of what happened to me and my family last night in my perspective.
Last night I came home from hanging out with Kory/Christmas shopping and went on my laptop to play Jade Dynasty, catch up on my animes, and listen to music as usual, and it was all normal until Midnight. (Ironically enough as that is lol.) Then my brother came home.
I was changing songs when I started to hear arguing from the living room, which again isn't out of the ordinary for me. But this time I heard the word "assault" so I stopped and said be right back to my game and began to listen more carefully.
Apparently my brother had been assaulted while he was out by a group of people who had been harrasing him for a long time. Cold as it may make me sound, I wasn't surprised. My brothers lifestyle had been changing for the worse as of late and so I lost all respect for him due to the choices he made. how can I respect someone who wont even respect their self- or their mother?
Anyways, my mom said she was going to report the kid to the cops and my brother told her if she did that he would run away. (Why you wouldn't want to report the person who beat you up is beyond me.) He was starting to raise his voice so I finally got annoyed enough and said "You're being an idiot." and of course he screamed at me to shut up with my reply being no.
He then had the nerve to start blaming mother! He kept going on, and on, and on about how his shitty life was all her fault. I love my mother to bits and I have so much respect for her so I had enough and said, "Respect your mother! She'd given you a roof over your head, food, water, warmth, all your clothes- everything!" and he again told me to shut up.
This time I didn't just reply with no, "No! Stop blaiming mom for your own short-comings and your own crappy life choices!"
Eventually he just got completely out of hang to the point where I had to leave. I could not stay any longer as I had fallen into the depressed zone. Mom told me to go to my room (nicely I mad add) so I wouldn't make him more insane.  I asked if I could just go for a walk and she said yes, so I changed into my warm sweater and grabbed my coat and scarf and iPod and walked to the back steps. While I was leaving mother was calling the Police.
At this point I was crying, I didn't trust myself to be alone as I'm a recovering self-harm addict. I haven't cut in a year but I still don't trust myself. I kept thinking that I didn't want any of this drama, that I thought things wouldn't come to this point. I knew I needed someone to keep me sane, to help me and calm me down, but who? Tyler, and Jenny were in Vancouver, Sera lived too far away, and Cole was probably busy.
I phoned Neve.
I was still crying so my voice was all retarded and I didn't really have a hold of myself so I wasn't making much sense. I explained the situation to her having to repeat myself a few times- then she said "Okay I'm coming Brianne." I was just like "....It's Kaleigh" and she was like "OHHH sorry!!"
Anyway we met half way from her house to mine and hung out outside her house until 1:30 AM. I felt so bad because she was almost asleep! I apologized soooo much but she was so nice and I'm really thankful. I further explained things in detail on the way as I wasn't crying anymore. She cheered my right up and kept me sane, I'm so thankful to her you have noooo idea!

I'm really glad this all happened though, because it showed me I didn't have to face everything on my own like I used to do, that I had people who loved me and whom I could rely on. I got home at 2 AM and didn't fall asleep until like 4 AM...XD Oh insomnia, how I dislike you so!
Sorry for the long pictureless blog post by the way, it's just something that's been on my mind that I don't want to forget. (: