Wait, they don't love you like I love you.

It's been awhile hasn't it? This week has been pretty hectic. Thus why there's so many pictures of me for once. Pretty much last Friday I went to my friend Ty's house and we had a nerd night, meaning we downloaded a game and played it right beside each other for hours and ate. We also looked for work but you see that didn't work out too well.
Then the following Thursday was semi formal! I went in a suit (because I don't own a dress and I don't really feel like dancing and head banging in a dress in any case) which no one believed I would even though I had been saying I would for 2 weeks. When I did show up everyone laughed and was like "I love you so much for doing this." I ended up having 2 'dates' both of which were women who I'm married to so it's natural. All in all it was a really good time got a lot of dancing done and the potatoes we're great. <3 That's all I ate really, potatoes. Some pasta on the side as well. Then  lots of chocolate. :3
Today I went out with Sera on an ugly sweater adventure, we wore our ugliest sweaters and adventured downtown. I got my mother 3 Christmas gifts as well. I hope she likes them. c:

As stated in other posts I did go on a couple of field trips this week, first one to Level Ground Coffee, and the second was to the Law courts in Victoria. Both of them we're really fantastic. Today was actually the first day this week that I didn't have to dress up.
The coffee trip I only missed my Peer Helping class for, and we went inside the Level Ground factory and saw how they make their coffee, how they get the beans, how they're fair trade, how they  market their products and how they changed their image. It was a much more rewarding experience than I had thought it would be. Learning the material in the class room is one thing but when you go out and see how it's applied makes it seem all that more effectful.
Yesterday I went to the Law courts and I had to dress in a skirt, I'm not a skirt kind of girl. We sat in on a murder trial, the witness they had was very elusive and wasn't a very credible man at all. He was obviously a drug dealer yet he just said he "vacuumed" for extra things like a pack of smokes or beer. Plus he contradicted everything he said. We then sat in on a civil trial which had something to do with trees, that's as far as I got. We got to hear what the sheriff does and all his adventures, Luke got put in handcuffs, it was pretty entertaining. We also had a mock trial, and my friends and I went on a grand journey to find the concession.
Now onto the more personal side of my week.
At the very beginning I had a chance to talk with Kyle of facebook, the guy I had liked and just got over him breaking my heart, and he told me he was in a relationship. At first I was happy for him but then he said that he had been with her for like a week. For those of you that don't know a week ago was around the time he had broken up with me. Technically he was cheating on me with her, he was flirting with me to push his love onto someone and his hornyness. I was used, again. I'm glad I never did anything intamate with him on webcam because that would have made me feel way more shitty. I'm hoping the next person I like is a chick, I'm tired of guys.
That was a terrific way to start my week, then on Tuesday, the day after that, I was already in a bit of a sour mood but the ball to my new lip ring (the one shown above) fell down the sink drain, I had taken it out to go look for work which didn't go well, I developed a headache that night and confronted pupal about her skipping last block when I told them not to and how her boyfriend was failing all his classes so I said I was mad at him to the point I didn't want to see nor speak to him for awhile. I hate it when people throw away their future and don't try for anything. Anyway I had figured I had ruined that friendship, my most important one.
I didn't see her the next day but I figured she was skipping, and I was right because when I returned from my Law class Bryanne had  told me so. Pupal and I had plans, but I knew those weren't happening anymore. She had ditched me for her boyfriend again. Whenever she got home she messaged me on facebook telling me that she was sorry for ditching me again, she had a counselling appointment about her trial. She wanted me to be there for her, she could only have one person in the room while she was testifying and she wanted it to be me.
How could I stay mad and hurt when she could have anyone and she chose me? I couldn't. And so now we have plans for a sleep over tomorrow to watch Lord of the Rings while drinking hot chocolate and eating peanut butter toast. Perfect way to spend a night.
Although today I was still in a bad mood about being lonely and slightly heart broken. Kind of was hating myself today. I think it showed.
I'll feel better soon though. (:

Come kiss the dead.

Grad photos didn't really happen. That day it decided it would be fantastic to storm and I also had to walk pupal to Tys house, by the time we got there we were legit dripping wet and I looked like a wet rat. I decided there was no way in hell I would ever take a picture looking like this, and so I skipped out. Don't worry I'll take retakes in April or whenever they are.
Even though I didn't get my photos done, I did help pupal with her hair she dyed it black and the tips red, and got straight bangs. It looks so good on her. :3 There was a lot of black left over and red so we mixed the 2 and I got my hair done! :D It's back to black and didn't cost me a dime! I was really happy, well still am.
Also I've been looking at wrist tattoos lately because I want to get one to cover my scars and remind me not to relapse again. I was thinking of that "Let it be.." one. (:
Other than that I've been listening to a lot of Wednesday 13 and Murderdolls.
 Hope you all have a great weekend!

Spread your wings and fly.

This week and next week are going to be a little crazy. I'm going out job hunting probably Friday, and Thursday I have grad photos and am going to go with pupal to get her hair done. I forgot about my grad photos to be honest, and then I remembered and was like "Shit." because I made plans with her before my recollection. Saturday we're going to be playing Skyward Sword (Which is amazing I've already played it) and sometime this week I'm going to be having dinner with Ty and his boyfriend. Which will be awkward.
Next week I have 2 school field trips, one for Marketing and one for Law. The marketing one is to some coffee place and the Law one is to the courts in Victoria. That one I'm excited for because we get to see real trails and we may get to see a murder trial. I also get to dress up in a suit, for some odd reason I like suits as I mentioned before I think.
Oh I donated blood last Thursday. c: It was pretty fantastic. Apparently you're supposed to be like tired while they're farming you and afterwards but I was actually rather hyper. I think I scared the nurse ladies with my reaction. I can't wait to do it again, although I didn't get my blood type, and I also didn't get paid. So I more or less did it for no reason.

Here's my kiss to betrayal.

A week full of challenges and emotional letters. Lately I've been into writing more and so I've actually written a fullish story and am starting a new one. Again. As for that book I was writing a more or less dropped it. I completely lost inspiration for it and actually lost my direction with it as well. Probably due to not writing in it since the summer. I'm also writing a series of short stories about Self Induced Lypo Suction. Yes, I am aware it sounds extremely disturbing and believe me it will be. 
Pupal and I more or less made amends and Kyle and I have "broken up" even though we weren't even going out in the first place. Although I do feel a little heart broken I wont let it get in the way of my life like I did 3 years ago. He needs someone he can actually hold. 
I'm going to be getting a suit soon, and I'm super excited. There's this thing about suits that I really love and I don't know why. I'm getting it for my grad interviews next semester and my Law field trip to the courts to which I'm really looking forward to. I'll try and get someone to take pictures. (:
I hope you're all doing well, it's been awhile since my last update!

Awkward turtle...

Today I began actively mentoring in like person, which is hard for me. Normally I'm just silly but I actually did something today other than that.
In the morning I cleaned her cuts of a good mentor, which wasn't that awkward it just kind of makes me sad because I remember how it was back in the day.
Anyway in block four I deiced that it would be best if I skipped Marketing to drop in on pupal in her Foods class because I had caught wind that she was struggling. I have to say now THAT was awkward.
Also is hurt my pride quite a lot. I mean, a grade 12 in a grade 9 class? All the kids were staring at me all like wtf? Obviously I wasn't in a very good mood either, because my pride was hurt and all the little kids are annoying as fuck. They wouldn't quit talking, and I don't know about you but I prefer silence during a lesson. I actually had to tell my pupal to pay attention and she like rolled her eyes at me. I thought she was mad at me but apparently not, she thought I was mad at her actually.
I'm going to try and do that once a week... Even though it REALLY destroys me inside. It helps apparently according to the teacher.

New beginnings.

Often times to go forward we find we have to revisit the past.
That is only slightly true for me. I went back to hanging out with my old friends today, as it was the first day of school and I had a blast. We almost all have writing together next semester!
Afterr the 15 minutes we were required to be there (I got put in a new TAG class... they used to be alphabetical but apparently not anymore because I was put with R's and K's when I'm a T O__o) and then just talked about games and anime and such for like... 2 hours then we went into Sidney while seeing a ton of panties littered on the ground. They weren't new ones either... they were like used ones. .___.
Then we went into thrift stores and wandered a bit before going home. I believe this will be an amazing high school year and it's my last! I'm really happy about gradding.. but sad at the same time.
In any case tomorrow is my clubs first meeting. x__x so busy and it's only the first day of classes!

Love to love ya.

Exams are starting in a week, and guess what I'm not doing? Projects and studying. I'm bad at this whole procrastinating thing- in fact some of my projects (Like the one due tomorrow) Isn't getting done. xD Why? I forgot about it :P Next year's my last year of High School so I'll probably work my butt off more so than I've done this year. x__x I'm going to do well on my exams though, I do really well on tests even when I don't study. I have a high B average on my tests and I don't study so... I'll be alright I hope.
Also, last Friday I went to the eye doctor and I indeed need glasses. I was surprised how clear things looked during the test. I though I had alright eyesight but I sure was wrong. Maybe I used to have better eyesight before I got into reading and video editing and anime lol. I wanna get these designer frames by Chaos but they we're $300 CAD with the lenses included- not happening. o-o
This Friday I'm getting a little machine to test my insomnia and maybe see why I can't sleep much. Although I doubt hooking me up to a bunch of wires is going to make me fall asleep faster let alone" normally". It never ends. ;A;
Ontop of allll that I'm having GF probs. o-o I wont be in a relationship much longer. u__u

I really miss having pink hair or blue hair. When I get a job (haha) I'm so asking if I can dye it pink or aqua. T__T

Book clubs are fun too.

In English we're doing book club and my friend and I decided we wanted to do something to do with homosexuality and coming out so the librarian directed us to the book Running With Scissors by Augusten Burroughs.

At first glance we were excited to read the book and do our report on it as no one had done it before and we've always been a fan of books about the gay community, and so we began reading as soon as we got our hands on it. We thought it would be funny and cute.
We were wrong.
I want to say one thing. DO NOT READ THIS BOOK!
If you're a fan of pedophilia, rape, and plain insanity go for it, but legit at least half this book is of very graphic disturbing scenes of rape and sex. That's not even what got to us though, no. We can handle a sex scene even if it is graphic normally it wouldn't phase us. It'd be like reading about someone going to the store.
What go us was that this is a Memoir. Meaning it legitimatly happened in his life which while you're reading it you think that it's a lie but who would lie about this kind of stuff? It's gross.
Also, we have to do a presentation on why people shouldn't read this book and demonstrate it visually. We could cosplay (Probably as the more sane characters) and draw things but we're stumped on how to keep it PG13.
What have we gotten ourselves into?
All in all besides the really uhm... gross content I liked the book. It was really well written and kept me gripped the entire time. Even with that said I wouldn't recommend it to the average person on the street to read.

English Video galore

I'm thankful to my English teacher because he lets us do our passion for our final projects in each unit, and mine is video editing. Although I don't edit to the legit movies of the things we're studying because I feel as if that's too uncreative, I edit to animes.
For example, the one I had to make this time was for the play Othello and so I made an AMV to the anime School Days because I saw distinctive similarities in the two, I dunno if anyone else does but I do and that's all that matters. Here's the vid if anyone wants to see:


I suggest watching it on youtube though for high quality and not a tiny screen. o__o

Anyway I also got some new hair products, I haven't tried them though so I dunno if they're super snazzy yet but they look like it.

I like what I did to this pic, it's purple ♥ and looks old. :D

Time flies while having fun.

I was hanging out with Tyler today after school and on our way home we came to a realization: we only have 1 year left of being free. When we grad we're moving out and going to post secondary and will officially (almost) be adults. We'll have to pay bills, tuition, textbooks, ect. In half a year he'll return to my high school and we'll have to deal with Semi-Formal and what to wear for that and possibly Grad Interview (Getting a power suit for that) then half a year after that Grad its self which is a LOT of money.

Only half a year left of play and memory making with my pals, that's not a lot of time o.o Plus in my free time I have to consider colleges like I wanna get into Video Editing, or counselling and Japanese and Writing but like no colleges offer all of that so it's either Counselling and Japanese or Video Editing and Writing so... yeah. A lot of people are saying I should do both but the issue with this is counselling takes like 4 years to complete, video editing doesn't take much time so... we'll just wait and see :3
If I choose video editing I'd have to make 14, 2 minute videos .__. Each video takes me like a month to complete </3
Why? Mostly cause I'm lazy but effects take awhile to plan and so does plot, meaning, footage, and music. Example of my work:

I actually can do a lot better than this but this is just my most recent video. I plan on making a better one like... soon- for English class.

This lingering date scares me. x3

Project FF

Omgosh it's been ages since I've blogged, but I've been busy and just plain lazy ;__; I'm not gonna update you guys on what I did cause there's no pictures and mostly it's pretty boring. XD
For my English 11H class I decided to edit together some videos with Sony Vegas (After re-downloading it and having issues with footage -__-) with Final Fantasy clips to the ideas of Daydreams and Revenge, the Daydream one apparently one clip had issues with being overlayed and so it is all pixliey in some places but it kinda works. (: I like the revenge video better but I like the words I choose for Daydream XD
I was gonna like... just show them here but my blog layout is apparently mentally retarded so I'll just send links to youtube...

Daydream
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3o5f62Lbu_c&feature=related

Revenge
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UvxxfpSJr7s

Make sure to watch in HD :D

Lovin' life

First of all, I want to apologize for not blogging very much these past few days ): I kept saying I'd get to it tomorrow or the next day and it kept on going like that until now... Also I've been quite busy with it being a new semester! I wanna tell you guys that I probably wont blog a lot from now on because of the new semester. I have Math 11 Esentials, English 11 Honors, Psychology, and Earth Science... very busy with lots of homework!~ T__T but my teachers are amazing so that makes up for it. (:

Now onto the things that I wanna share (:

First thing, I've never had my ears pierced. When I was a kid I wanted to be a boy, and then we were too poor so I had never gotten them pierced (yet I have my lip pierced LOL was a birthday present though.) So Neve volenteered to pierce them for me, and just so you guys know Neve isn't a pro. When she's bored she pierces herself so I thought I'd accept cause I've been feeling like a loser being without lately. I was the only 16 year old who didn't have holes in their ears.

Neve kept thinking she would hurt me and stuff, although it's kinda funny cause she was about to stab the needle through and was all "I don't wanna hurt you..." and then stabs it XD

To her surprise though I didn't flinch or anything, as it really didn't hurt to me. I've done worse to myself, to me it just felt like a tiny pinch and then a pop. Really nothing too bad LOL especially to someone whose been hit by a car so .__.

Today I forgot my lunch at home, you guys have no idea how devistated I was by this XD I loveeee my food! D: Kory came and gave me a Hello Kitty Marshemellow candy thing which ended up being my lunch lol.

At break I was talking with Neve, Bryanne, and a bunch of other people when we all look over and behold, a new hot guy! He had a beardddd <3 and was part of the alternative style, bonus! At my school there's like no acceptable hot guys, so this was hardcore. We decided to stalk him LOL we followed him to find his locker in near ours, hehe >D After building up enough courage we walked over to him and stood there where the vice principal introduced us and opened us up to showing him around, we were about to show him where the smoke pit was when the bell rang. (I only know where it is cause of my ex, I don't smoke and never have lol) so we showed him to his class.

Later I found out he was in my earth science class, and sat right behind me SCOREEE! He's also Italian :D You guys can tell how excited we were XD quote: "We will make him ours O__O"

After school I walked with Neve, Bryanne, Brianne, and Rachel whilst speaking of many things like the new killer/rapist around these parts and how we'd react if we saw him.

Brianne and Rachel left at this point and Neve said, "if I ever saw a murderer following me, I would turn around and go hsssssssssssss and then run away"

She meant to scream but a hiss came out and so we laughed for like 10 mins straight and tears came out of Neves eyes it was SOOOO funny!

I am REALLY liking this semester. :D

My clubs also finally holding our concert and got a cool logo, looove. :P

Schools started up again which I'm happy about, I got to see all my friends again and all, and things were starting to go back to normally (Although it's only been 3 days...)
I got so many compliments on my hair though!~ Who knew so many people liked me as a blondish ginger thing (: I love it myself. I figured I'd get the blonde phase out now as when I go to Japan to live and work for a company or something I'll dye it black again and take out my piercing to look more professional. I'ma miss it T__T
Anyways back on the subject of school! On the first day I started off with 0 hours and 0 minutes of sleep due to stress, excitment, and flaring insomnia. Oddly enough I was wide awake until 5 though O__o I always get tired around 5 anyway. When I got to school I still felt... surreal? Probably not the right word, but I felt as if I had been away longer than 2 weeks, but I was so happy to go back as I've been having family issues again lately and I really don't like being home.
Although in block 2 that good mood died when the ball to my lip piercing fell out, so I tried to put it back in and it smashed out of my hand under an unmovable filing cabinet.... So yeah my piercing looks retarded right now! Neve was highly against me taking it out though so she's apparently going to buy me a new one and Tyler said he was going to buy me a stud .__. I feel so loved x3
Wednesday was boring I think so yeah
Today my club started up again and we're making a logo thinger and stuff and setting up a concert type thing ^^
I think my writing project is gonna incorporate lesbians, cause for some odd reason lately I like forbidden love  more than I used to so yeah... plus it makes for good material ^^

...Bipolar post much? o-o;

I'm so tired XD Havent slept well all week i look like a mess after relaxing for like 3 hours :P