gotta make the move.

"Things fade with time, but there are some things we cannot let fade, hmm?" -Final Fantasy VII Crisis Core

Today I gave a presentation to my friends Planning 10 Class on Self-harm and Depression as I don't ever want someone to feel the way I used to, my partner felt the same as I did, and I think that added to the effect.

At first I didn't know how to act, so I acted like my usual happy self as as of late I've been in a pretty good mood, and of course we couldn't log onto the computer. We got the teacher to go on her account and hack our H drive though so it was okay.

First we put the word "Depression" on the board and said, "What do you think when you see the word?" there were a lot of results that I expected and some I didn't such as Demi Levado LOL. None of them said emo which really surprised me as in today's society I find it really stereotypical. We did the same for Self-Harm and it was the same pretty much lol.

After that we asked them who they thought self harmed and who they thought had been seriously depressed. Fingers were pointed at me! XD Both my partner and I were seriously depressed in our lives, but only I had resorted to self-harm.

We showed our slide show, showed a couple inspirational videos (the one I showed gets to me every time, was close to tears here guys ;__;)

Then, after that we shared our own stories. I shared my past of abuse, love and loss, and my serious addiction to self-harm. Izzy showed the side of the effect of having no friends and suicidal thoughts.

In my story, I think one thing got to them really deeply.

I said "There used to be this girl who I spoke to a lot, she looked up to me in every single way, my style, my personality, my strength, everything. Everything I was drew her in to change herself to be like me. One day she said to me, 'Kaleigh, I wanna be just like you, you're amazing! I wanna have just as many scars as you.' This destroyed me. At that time I had over 200 scars on my body and I have more now. We stopped talking for a while after that, and then a few months later she messaged me again and said to me, 'Hey Kaleigh, remember when I said I wanted as many scars as you? I got there. I regret it.' Now she has over 200 scars on her body and it's all my fault. I have to live with that guilt everyday of my life, and I wish I knew sooner to stop my ways. That's why I'm here before you today, I don't want you to go down the same path I did, I don't want any of you to hurt that way, talk to me. I'm here"

The class was silent after that bit, and I of course almost cried but I'm fairly good at hiding tears so I was okay. After the presentation was over I felt really happy, accomplished, like I had touched just one soul.

I also hung out with Rinko after school today, I forgot how amazing it was to talk to her! Tyler was going to do her hair but for family matters... that couldn't happen. I'll be mentioning this in a later part of this post. Anyway Rinko and I went to Sidney, got bus tickets, and just spoke to each other for a long while it was really refreshing and that's how I felt when I got home- well when I got home that usually ends so... Yeah.

Anyway back to the Tyler thing. In  short- he was kicked out of his home which is illegal to do. My mother and I created a  plan. If this doesn't resolve itself by Sunday we're going to tell his mom what she did is illegal and if she doesn't grow the fuck up we will phone social services and get her children taken from her as she is an unfit mother. My mother would then take Tyler in as a foster parent and we'd move to a bigger home (preferably 4 bedroom) payed for by the Government. Bills and stuff too, I'm also going to get a job to help this out. IF it comes to this. I really hope it doesn't as moving would be really hard but it's necessary maybe.

Amazing song, it's on repeat lol.