Repent.

Thank you for replying to my last post, even if it is late it means a lot.
I agree that everything is really fucked up right now, but there is one thing you're wrong about.
I have no intention to stop loving you through my healing process. You are the soul reason I'm even bothering to get better in the first place. I'm very glad you've recognized that change is needed in our relationship. I know you never intended for it to end up this way, neither did I. I forgive you. For some reason when it comes to you I'm able to throw away my pride and bow down at your feet. I'd like to hang out with you at lunch as well, but I'm sure if I did that I would only end up ripping my skin open at the end of the day due to my imminence jealousy.
Like I've said you don't have to leave me completely. I just have to separate myself from you two together at the time being. You'll still see me around the hallways I'm sure of that.
I'm proud of you for growing up enough to see that you need to fight for what you want. I'm glad you two are staying together, your sanity is a need for me as well.
I'll tell you this now, if you ever need me run up to me and grab me by the lock you put around my neck and drag me away. If I ever show signs of leaving forever punch me as hard as you can, strangle me, I don't care. Fight to keep me at your side no matter how insane I may seem at the moment. I may be mad in the moment but later I would be thankful and happy. I'd do the same for you.
I'll tell you something, in my 17 years of life I've never actually felt "alive" I just felt like I was drifting through a dream but you make me feel alive. You make me realize that life isn't ALL downsides, there is a light there too but you have to work for it.
I'll have you know I have no intention of letting you go either. I've made you into this selfish creature and I am just as selfish. I will take responsibility for it. I may move away to Victoria but I will come back and visit often. I'm not leaving your life, I'm just leaving your relationship alone and giving you some breathing room while I sort through the chaos that is my own soul.
I'm a possessive woman, which is horrible I know, and I have no intention of letting my property leave my side. If you'd like I'll get down on one knee and swear my allegiance to you.
I honestly think you and I need to have a one on one meeting again.
When I'm old and things like vanity, pride, and greed are gone from my soul I'd like to still be able to come back into your waiting arms, is that okay or is it a bit too selfish of me?