Book clubs are fun too.

In English we're doing book club and my friend and I decided we wanted to do something to do with homosexuality and coming out so the librarian directed us to the book Running With Scissors by Augusten Burroughs.

At first glance we were excited to read the book and do our report on it as no one had done it before and we've always been a fan of books about the gay community, and so we began reading as soon as we got our hands on it. We thought it would be funny and cute.
We were wrong.
I want to say one thing. DO NOT READ THIS BOOK!
If you're a fan of pedophilia, rape, and plain insanity go for it, but legit at least half this book is of very graphic disturbing scenes of rape and sex. That's not even what got to us though, no. We can handle a sex scene even if it is graphic normally it wouldn't phase us. It'd be like reading about someone going to the store.
What go us was that this is a Memoir. Meaning it legitimatly happened in his life which while you're reading it you think that it's a lie but who would lie about this kind of stuff? It's gross.
Also, we have to do a presentation on why people shouldn't read this book and demonstrate it visually. We could cosplay (Probably as the more sane characters) and draw things but we're stumped on how to keep it PG13.
What have we gotten ourselves into?
All in all besides the really uhm... gross content I liked the book. It was really well written and kept me gripped the entire time. Even with that said I wouldn't recommend it to the average person on the street to read.

17 year long story

17 years ago at 4 AM I was born into this world and my story began. I'm not gonna tell you my life story though. :P I'll tell you the story of my day though!~
I woke up as usual and threw on my FAVORITEEEE shirt. It's a Legend of Zelda shirt so... I made it into a tank top cause I got it when I was like... in grade 6 or something in a Boys Large.

Please excuse the bad lighting it's late and my room is horrid. xD

After I put on my makeup and did my hair and shaz I got my $80 dollars and a Hello Kitty key from my mom, was pretty legit. x3 I didn't take a picture of it though so... o.o

The spam of Facebook texts had already begun and throughout the entire day I was getting Happy Birthday texts from it alll day long and during Block B I got a happy birthday text from my girlfriend in Cali. :P She wanted to buy me a turtle if she was here I was all like o.0 "It'd die in my care hun...."

Lauren gave me a necklace in the morning which I added to the other 5 necklaces I usually wear to school, it's like the only necklace I have that has a little color in it now.

You can't see the colors but it's yellows and whites and stuff. Kinda goes with my middle name, Amber. :3

People sung in English and Psychology- and my teachers the same teacher so was a tad awkward. o.o My friend Ashylynn recorded how mentally challenged I am in Math class. Like today, we learned how to use a ruler OMG SO HARD. I recorded a bit of the lesson and will upload it to my youtube tomorrow- probably my second channel. 

After school is where the fun began though. You see I had been planning a picnic with my friends and so I had been lugging things to school all week long, 24 cans of soda, a blanket, and sandwhiches and Neve and Bryanne made me a cake. :3

I was surprised what the design on the cake was... it was a boob- with a nipple ring... I really loved it. XD  Best cake I've ever gotten LOL. It tasted really good too and was also VEGAN. ^__^

My new friend Sara came and joined too and she gave me a picture:

It shall go on my wall along with a poem Bryanne is making.

Neve also drew me a picture for our half year anniversary. :3 I'm gonna fill my room with artwork from my friends and writings from myself- and I will take them all with me when I move out. x3

Tomorrow I'm going shopping with Tyler. I hope to find another Zelda shirt to cut up and love. Neve wants to steal with one. 0.0 She took a picture with my shirt- not me my SHIRT. I love my friends.

This was the best birthday I've ever had and can only get better! :D

Childhood memories

When I was young I had issues with appearance, I honestly didn't care. In grade 8 I started to develop a kind of style in time for grade 8 grad so my clothes weren't too hideous- but my face and hair was so that was all uhm yeah. I was looking at old pictures from Grade 8 Graduation and was laughing so hard at how emo I was and how retarded my friends were. xD

 I love Sera, one on the left, Emma was just there I dunno o.o

 Sera looks like she was gonna suck you in- I was an emo child and yeah o-o

 Those are my legs btw not Angels xD

Even back then we liked sweets a ton. :3 We didn't eat all of those only 2 pieces each and then other people realized there was Cake so we ran away. x3

Fly me to the stars.

Today I went out due to the return of sunshine! (Which goes away again soon to rain on my birthday on Friday T__T) Jenny had to go to wal-mart to print out some photos for her camera and we went adventuring
Sera and I just wandered around looking at random stuff like the shake weight and electric bikes. We also tried planning our futures and I may be moving to Vancouver even though I really don't want to... I don't have much of a choice though.
While waiting for the pictures to be ready Jenny led us to Qoola and it's so rad, it's a frozen yogurt place where you choose your own stuff yourself. This is what Sera put on hers:

It was like 90% toppings. xD I didn't get a picture of Jenny and I's but it was normal and not like hers.
We then went to Future shop and played on the instruments and ipads and stuff and then to Urban Barn and found this mirror that makes you look tall by making your torso look huge. I took a picture on my phone thus why it looks really hideous and you can't see anything.

I'm actually short so...
I'm so going to Qoola again one day. If I had money this would be nice. x3

Stereo Love.

Well, after making a ton of crappy videos on YouTube I whipped up in a few hours I decided to actually make a good one with all those annoying effects that are really time consuming. These annoying effects are the ones that make a good video though and normally take a long time to complete. The main one I'm talking about is masking which is the most annoying thing ever, but I'm good at it now.

The light purple chick is masked in.

Isn't that touching? :3

I'm assuming this video's gonna take a month to finish or something just because of the masking, the other stuff is pretty simple and I may add some more effects- it's gonna be like 5 minutes long so. xD But I love this anime to pieces so I absolutely have to edit with it. :D I may post a preview once I'm finished editing the masks. 

This is what masking is btw. Can you see why it'd be soooo annoying? .__. (And take a lot of time cause each of those dots is a thing where I've had to move the anchors. >__<) I've a long way to go to be finished.

Hot like fire.

The sun decided to pay this little island a visit this week and my skin is proof of this. This year I really do enjoy just laying in the warm sun texting my friend and maybe talking to friends if they're laying with me- so like lunch lol. Thursday and Friday were perfect for this and I was sooo happy to be able to wear tank tops without a hoodie or my coat on top.
Thursday I only layed in the sun after school for like an hour and caught the bus because I was wearing skinny jeans and my legs were over heating a tad. :P So I resolved to make some really crappy cut offs when I got home- which I forgot about until like 7:00 the next morning.
Although I did make them from these tye dye type skinnys I bought a year ago that I seldom wore because I didn't like the 2 shades of gray all the way down my legs. I packed them in my bag and changed at school. Everyone was shocked that I was actually wearing shorts at lunch because I only wear shorts outside like once a year and my super pale legs are proof of this. I was also wearing my favorite tank top that buttons up in the front, it's loose fitting and just flows. Although it's a bit small for me around the chest area it's alright because they buttons don't pop and I don't become one of them surprise flashers LOL.
That day I layed out in the sun for like 4 hours just texting my friend in California and relaxing. I was wearing sun block but it was uhm.. SPF 15 which I found out when I got home and saw that I was all burnt, oh well it'll turn into a tan in a couple days. It was well worth the relax time. :3
Plus my first wife, Neve, was laying on her porch in her bikini without sun block and fell asleep on her belly. x3 She probably has it way worse than I do. LOL. Oh I love her and the sun. x3

This is what we learned in Psychology yesterday. I found "Profoundly retarded" to be really funny.

Time to get a little serious

Normally on this blog I try to blog about happy things as to make other people happy and not have a ton of people barge into my most personal and sensitive times, but I guess I have to state one thing because it really got to me.
I was on youtube and I saw a video, and then near the end the person (fakely but it looked super reals) self harmed and I pretty much just about freaked out. Not because the person was self harming because I accept those people, but because I remembered my own experiences and dances with that devil. I used to be an addict to self harm so I remember quite clearly what it felt like- I wont go into details though.
It's just, the sight of skin being opened, or blood on a knife makes me remember what brought me to those times and makes my limbs go numb and my body shake because I don't want to relapse ever. I deal with a lot of people who self harm and I don't tell them "Don't do it it's bad!" I just simply ask "Do you know the consequences and what this will bring in the future?" If they say yes then I won't lecture them, but if they don't I will give them a run down on how the scars normally don't fade completely, how you always have the feeling that you'll give in and how blood flow isn't normal in the limbs you self harmed on. I don't want them to feel the guilt when someone asks, especially a child, "What are all those scars from?" Because honestly, no matter what the hell you say, you will feel guilty and sad when you're asked.

You can't save someone, you can only help them save themselves. I learned that the hard way various times and now my help is more effective. If you know someone who self harms do NOT ask tell them not to, it makes them do it more and worsely. Just simply ask if they know what they're getting into and if they want to bear with that guilt. Let them do the thinking, not you. :)

Sorry for the super deep post but honestly it's something I can't let go.

English Video galore

I'm thankful to my English teacher because he lets us do our passion for our final projects in each unit, and mine is video editing. Although I don't edit to the legit movies of the things we're studying because I feel as if that's too uncreative, I edit to animes.
For example, the one I had to make this time was for the play Othello and so I made an AMV to the anime School Days because I saw distinctive similarities in the two, I dunno if anyone else does but I do and that's all that matters. Here's the vid if anyone wants to see:


I suggest watching it on youtube though for high quality and not a tiny screen. o__o

Anyway I also got some new hair products, I haven't tried them though so I dunno if they're super snazzy yet but they look like it.

I like what I did to this pic, it's purple ♥ and looks old. :D

Time flies while having fun.

I was hanging out with Tyler today after school and on our way home we came to a realization: we only have 1 year left of being free. When we grad we're moving out and going to post secondary and will officially (almost) be adults. We'll have to pay bills, tuition, textbooks, ect. In half a year he'll return to my high school and we'll have to deal with Semi-Formal and what to wear for that and possibly Grad Interview (Getting a power suit for that) then half a year after that Grad its self which is a LOT of money.

Only half a year left of play and memory making with my pals, that's not a lot of time o.o Plus in my free time I have to consider colleges like I wanna get into Video Editing, or counselling and Japanese and Writing but like no colleges offer all of that so it's either Counselling and Japanese or Video Editing and Writing so... yeah. A lot of people are saying I should do both but the issue with this is counselling takes like 4 years to complete, video editing doesn't take much time so... we'll just wait and see :3
If I choose video editing I'd have to make 14, 2 minute videos .__. Each video takes me like a month to complete </3
Why? Mostly cause I'm lazy but effects take awhile to plan and so does plot, meaning, footage, and music. Example of my work:

I actually can do a lot better than this but this is just my most recent video. I plan on making a better one like... soon- for English class.

This lingering date scares me. x3

Short and punky.

After reading NANA I had been inspired to embrace the Punk culture, this was of no surprise to my friends and most of them encouraged the idea. I needed a haircut so I decided, why not go short? I said in a post earlier that I thought shoulder length was short but this time I went REALLY short, like boyish short.

I like it, even if I generally prefer longer hair I really like this cut. It allows me to have the creativity I like having, I can spike it, put it in a faux hawk [which is really hard to maintain considering I don't have proper product] make it look scene, or leave it flat and boring. I thought that because I cut it short I could sleep in but... I get so caught up in styling it and having it perfect it takes just as long or even longer. (I still sleep in 15 minutes anyway. :P)

I actually don't like this photo but it show cases the hair cut really nicely...

The day I took these photos I took an hour long bus ride to wall-mart just to buy paper cause it's like 3 dollars cheaper there. I'm cool like that.