Time to get a little serious

Normally on this blog I try to blog about happy things as to make other people happy and not have a ton of people barge into my most personal and sensitive times, but I guess I have to state one thing because it really got to me.
I was on youtube and I saw a video, and then near the end the person (fakely but it looked super reals) self harmed and I pretty much just about freaked out. Not because the person was self harming because I accept those people, but because I remembered my own experiences and dances with that devil. I used to be an addict to self harm so I remember quite clearly what it felt like- I wont go into details though.
It's just, the sight of skin being opened, or blood on a knife makes me remember what brought me to those times and makes my limbs go numb and my body shake because I don't want to relapse ever. I deal with a lot of people who self harm and I don't tell them "Don't do it it's bad!" I just simply ask "Do you know the consequences and what this will bring in the future?" If they say yes then I won't lecture them, but if they don't I will give them a run down on how the scars normally don't fade completely, how you always have the feeling that you'll give in and how blood flow isn't normal in the limbs you self harmed on. I don't want them to feel the guilt when someone asks, especially a child, "What are all those scars from?" Because honestly, no matter what the hell you say, you will feel guilty and sad when you're asked.

You can't save someone, you can only help them save themselves. I learned that the hard way various times and now my help is more effective. If you know someone who self harms do NOT ask tell them not to, it makes them do it more and worsely. Just simply ask if they know what they're getting into and if they want to bear with that guilt. Let them do the thinking, not you. :)

Sorry for the super deep post but honestly it's something I can't let go.

English Video galore

I'm thankful to my English teacher because he lets us do our passion for our final projects in each unit, and mine is video editing. Although I don't edit to the legit movies of the things we're studying because I feel as if that's too uncreative, I edit to animes.
For example, the one I had to make this time was for the play Othello and so I made an AMV to the anime School Days because I saw distinctive similarities in the two, I dunno if anyone else does but I do and that's all that matters. Here's the vid if anyone wants to see:


I suggest watching it on youtube though for high quality and not a tiny screen. o__o

Anyway I also got some new hair products, I haven't tried them though so I dunno if they're super snazzy yet but they look like it.

I like what I did to this pic, it's purple ♥ and looks old. :D

Time flies while having fun.

I was hanging out with Tyler today after school and on our way home we came to a realization: we only have 1 year left of being free. When we grad we're moving out and going to post secondary and will officially (almost) be adults. We'll have to pay bills, tuition, textbooks, ect. In half a year he'll return to my high school and we'll have to deal with Semi-Formal and what to wear for that and possibly Grad Interview (Getting a power suit for that) then half a year after that Grad its self which is a LOT of money.

Only half a year left of play and memory making with my pals, that's not a lot of time o.o Plus in my free time I have to consider colleges like I wanna get into Video Editing, or counselling and Japanese and Writing but like no colleges offer all of that so it's either Counselling and Japanese or Video Editing and Writing so... yeah. A lot of people are saying I should do both but the issue with this is counselling takes like 4 years to complete, video editing doesn't take much time so... we'll just wait and see :3
If I choose video editing I'd have to make 14, 2 minute videos .__. Each video takes me like a month to complete </3
Why? Mostly cause I'm lazy but effects take awhile to plan and so does plot, meaning, footage, and music. Example of my work:

I actually can do a lot better than this but this is just my most recent video. I plan on making a better one like... soon- for English class.

This lingering date scares me. x3

Short and punky.

After reading NANA I had been inspired to embrace the Punk culture, this was of no surprise to my friends and most of them encouraged the idea. I needed a haircut so I decided, why not go short? I said in a post earlier that I thought shoulder length was short but this time I went REALLY short, like boyish short.

I like it, even if I generally prefer longer hair I really like this cut. It allows me to have the creativity I like having, I can spike it, put it in a faux hawk [which is really hard to maintain considering I don't have proper product] make it look scene, or leave it flat and boring. I thought that because I cut it short I could sleep in but... I get so caught up in styling it and having it perfect it takes just as long or even longer. (I still sleep in 15 minutes anyway. :P)

I actually don't like this photo but it show cases the hair cut really nicely...

The day I took these photos I took an hour long bus ride to wall-mart just to buy paper cause it's like 3 dollars cheaper there. I'm cool like that.

Summer plans

For summer I've always usually just stayed at home the entire home rolling around the floor infront of a fan trying to cool down, and at night suffering as the aluminum building across the street would reflect the sun beams into my room turning it into an oven, but this year I was given an option to finally leave Vancouver Island for the first time in my life!
Where to? Well the city of course, Calgary Alberta.

It's a lot bigger than Sidney or Victoria so I'm a little bit nervous and still contemplating even going. There are a lot of things to consider, money wise.
My older brother would drive us there and back but we'd still have to come up with a fair amount of money. He has a job for us there though which pays something like $15 - $18 an hour- which is a lot more than the $9.75 I'd be making here on the island, although the job would be cleaning gutters.
At first I thought it would be an easy job because mother made it sound this way, but when I was talking with Jessie the reality hit. I'd be harnessed up, on a roof with a huge hose pulling out leaves and blasting water. I'd have to buy steel toed boots, learn how to drive (without a license I may add, no time for that stuff.) and pay for gas and buy my own food. A lot more than it sounded at first.
Although I was thinking of the good things about this too. Calgary is really really warn during the summer and I've been looking to lose weight too, so with that hard job and the hot heat I'd get a really hot bod by the end of it, except it'd be tanned... but that's what skin bleach is for. I'd also come home with a HUGE sum of money and be able to buy my punk clothes and my bass guitar/amp. Maybe even get more piercings <3~ ORRR there are a lot of sexy people in Calgary so maybe I'll get a lover too?! (Doubt it buy a girl can dream ;A;) Plus Neve would be there for 3 weeks too and I'd be able to reunite with my older brothers.
There's just soooo much to consider. T__T I'm just so unsure.

I really do love citys though <3~

Wife harem?

I just want to start this post off by saying I didn't actually marry any of my wives, it's a friend thing. I only say this because I've had people think I seriously married 4 people...
I married my first wife in October so this month was our half year anniversary, I only actually realized it like a week before the date I made up so I obviously had no time to get her anything too good, plus I was busy marrying other people. (It's a polygamy)
My friend Bry said she wanted a wife cause she felt left out so I offered and she said yes, and then we divorced 2 days later and then the day after that got remarried, so our 6 month will be a week before my first wifes.
My third wife I married... a day after I married Bry. Although I've been married to Sera before. We first married a year ago and then divorced and then we married like 3 months ago and divorced because she got a legit boyfriend and then we got married again... She think's she's the first wife cause of this but she's not. :P
My 4th and final wife so far, Lauren, also wanted to find a wife so of course I offered my hand and she accepted without hesitation, I think she knew I would ask. x3 I married her a week after Bry and Sera. LOL.
Neve and I's half year didn't really happen cause she was sick, and the day after she drew me a picture which I haven't gotten yet cause she's still sick. x3
The point of this is, in October I'm screwed. I have 1 year anniversary to pay for and 3 half years. ;A; I need a good job to pay for all of this... Harems aren't a good idea in the money department. D:

This isn't me and my wife btw. I'm not that cool.

I thought this would be a cute topic cause of the Royal Wedding which just happened (which I didn't watch. :P) I'm such a great Canadian, huh?

The clock tolls on.

I keep neglecting my blog which I haven't been wanting to do, I've just been distracted with games and such. Again, this is causing my working ethic to suffer, my applications for work seem to all me turned down and such too and yeah the games and causing my homework to be... less than completed.
In any case these last few weeks I've been in a state of recovery, I seem to have been over working my body with tons of stress and such. 2 weeks ago I was out with the flu, and then this weekend I strained my back and couldn't really move much (Thus how I downloaded a new game...) Now that I know how it feels be old, I plan to be dead before my back is like this every day. o-o;
On the bright side the weathers becoming nicer and the cherry blossoms have blossomed beautifully this year. It's funny how I live by a bunch of them yet I never really noticed their beauty until this year. I was walking home on Thursday from the bus stop and noticed how bright the world seemed. It really was poetic in many ways. It was one of those moments where you wish you owned a camera but you don't. xD It really got me thinking that I should try and cheer up as I've been a real downer. o-o
I had been re-watching a couple animes which I was out, too like K-ON and when I finished that I re-watched Bakemonogatari (Ghostory) I forgot how funny Senjougahara was! XD "Do you hate kids?" "Yes, I can say I despise them even" "Why? .__." "One day I was at the supermarket and I bumped into a little girl, 'I'm sorry, are you okay?' I said, then I realized she made me be sentimental and nice and there after I looked at children with hatred."

"Arargi-kun, you're planning our next date." "Alright." "You better not take me to any strange places or I'll rip your skin off." "Roger that :)" She's funny in a mean way cause she's overly honest. xD
Someone finally bought my red skinny jeans too! Also Lauren and I's Halloween costume is coming along well, we're getting a REALLY good discount on high quality wigs and might get the costume part for free. :) Strawberry Panic cosplayers ftw!
Well, I hope to try and blog more when life brings me an interesting bit of fruit! :D