Have you ever been sad? Well, that's a stupid question, we've all experienced the emotion of sadness at some point or another because life is a fickle, finite thing. Although, have you ever been depressed? By depressed I don't mean it in the way of a small period of extreme sadness, I mean it in the form of a long, long time. The kind of depression, that even though you know that some day there will be a happier time deep in the depths of your mind, you don't see it. The kind that actually doesn't just weigh you down, but actually physically hurts.
I'm sure some of you have, there's no doubt in my mind about that.
Here's a visual picture: Depression, a deep one, is like sinking. Sinking to the bottom of the ocean slowly. At first you fight and struggle thinking “I can still make it to the surface!” but soon that idea comes to an end as you gaze out to the surface of the water and see the light of the sun grow dimmer, dimmer, and soon there's no sun at all. The oceans heavy pressure then starts to bombard you from all sides crushing your insides and the constant throbbing pain becomes more sharp with time, and all you can do is simply watch and feel your life as you know it ebb away, being pushed around by the tides.
Depression is that kind of thing, and it doesn't just go away. You either come to terms with your inner conflict, or get medicated. It's not easy to deal with inner demons once you're in the state of loneliness, realizing that your comrades are never there when you really need them. Eventually you begin to push them all away because you want to grow stronger on your own to feet. The sad reality of that though, is it's rare for someone to grow on their own. Humans need the nurturing feelings of those around us to feed us positivity. As much of a finite thing this sounds, bounded by others, it's actually something much brighter than that. With others we can extend our reach by relying on them. Not a simple feat to accomplish, though.
If I had to put the entire complex process of depression into one simple thing, I'd say it's a war. This way is fought between only the self. Each person has two sides of them, the dark and the light, yin and yang, positive and negative. Love, and hate. These two forces constantly are clashing against each other trying to gain control of the conscious mind. Usually the two find peace with each other and create the proposed balance. Sometimes that doesn't happen and the two drive the mind insane. We are all imperfect beings made from the two forces that drive this world.
If we could get rid of all the hate in this world, there wouldn't really be love because there would be nothing to compare it to. Therefore we couldn't really call it “love” could we?
Depression can be caused by the inability for these forces to create the balance. The self then loses desire to do anything one side says one thing, while the other says another. The self then claims to be “useless” or “a failure” because everyone around them has a dream to thrive onto something. The individual wants to thrive, too, but for what? The inability to clear the mind and think of something enjoyable is clear in their mind and so they spend countless nights shedding meaningless tears over something so uncontrollable. Wishing for someone, anyone to come and save them.
No one will, though.
The only person to save the self is, of course, the self.
Depression is not an endless battle between these two polar forces. One day the balance between the two is achieved and a beautiful being is created, but that road to beauty is carved with suffering and mundane fighting. Rest assured, making it through this road will lead to a paradise no unbalance can destroy. Then one day, the simple scribes pen crusted with dry ink, will be able to write a story like no other, a tale of extreme beauty.
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